I hate Aerosmith. I also hate going to the gym. Not because I don’t like to work out, but because there’s always a handful of douchebags in there trying to out muscle everyone else. I’m surprised more people aren’t injured from some of the nonsense I’ve witnessed. Here’s a tip for all you wanna be meat heads: if you have to arch you back, hold your breath, scrunch your face, and grind your feet into the ground just to do a bench press, you’re using way too much fucking weight. I hope you die.
Anyway, I’ve never understood the popularity of Aerosmith. No talent. No songwriting ability. Nothing but a bunch of fags jumping around to cheesy, over processed crap they consider music. Yes, I am fucking bitter that a handful of homos got lucky and become rock stars. Really, before about the year 2000, we didn’t have much of a choice when it came to music. We listened to whatever the record companies rammed down our throats. I’d like to seem them fags do it now, in the age of dying “traditional” media.
The thing with Aerosmith is that they don’t know when to stop. They can write a good hook, but then that’s it. With most bands, the formula is verse, chorus, verse, bridge, chorus, done (really good musicians don’t need to follow this pattern though). With Aerosmith, it’s verse, chorus, verse, some cut ‘n paste guitar solo, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus. Over and over and over on an infinite loop until finally there’s no more tape (or in these days, hard drive space). Every time I hear an Aerosmith song come on, I start wishing hard for a piano to just fall from the sky and kill me. It’s torture. I would happily sacrifice 1 year off the end of my life to never, ever hear an Aerosmith song again (same goes for anything AC/DC post Bon Scott).
What does Aerosmith have to do with the gym? Nothing. I just heard an Aerosmith song while working out and thought about taking my own life with a barbell, or I could’ve just gotten close enough to the guy throwing around 285 lbs he couldn’t handle on the bench, or pick a fight with the meat head girl with shoulders broader than mine who probably fucks the guy she’s working out with in the ass.