Chromeo is unapologetically retro 80s pop trash. That’s their bit. And I like it, to a point.
I hated 80s pop music. Even though I was just a kid, there was something inherently wrong with a bunch of dudes dressed like bitches whining about their girl problems. And they were so god damn serious. How can you take a grown ass man wearing boas and makeup and flopping around like a bitch in orgasm seriously?
That’s why I think I like Chromeo. At times they seem to be mocking that whiny 80s garbage, and themselves at the same time. They are a little edgy, if that can even be said of a band dedicated to resurrecting that awful 80s shit. And they are way more masculine than their 80s cousins. I would imagine if they all ended up in prison, the dudes from Chromeo would be fucking the homos from the 80s in the ass.
Pop music is shallow by nature. There’s no room to grow. It’s disposable nonsense. It’s manufactured, not created. Just follow the formula and you’ll be a success, if only for 10 minutes. That’s usually all it takes to rake in big piles of cash and then retreat into a flurry of spending everything you’ve earned. Then one day, you wind up on “celebrity” rehab.
You and me can’t reap this kind of success though. We’re not good looking enough. We’re not marketable. If you watch American Idol closely, the best singers hardly ever win. Because it’s not about real talent. And the best singers aren’t the ones who are technically perfect. It’s the ones who actually understand music and are creative without the need of a pre-composed “hit.” In other words, they’re not just factory workers, they’re factory builders.
It’s all about popularity. That’s why it’s called pop. Justin Bierber is following the George Michael path. He’ll wind up blowing some guy in a dirty, shit riddled stall in an anonymous park in the heart of gay-ville in whatever city he lives in. But right now, he’s hot as shit to the little crying bitches who haven’t got their period yet. And once they do, they’ll realize what a whiny fart he really is and discard him for more masculine pursuits.
So he follows the path of all those 80s fags who I can only imagine these days are sitting around shaking their head and wondering why they decided to take the low road. If they were wise, money is their answer, because they still got some. If not, re-read the part about Burbur.